Saluting Those Who Salute Value Beers: Patriot(s) #8

In the latest installment of the series of Beer Patriots, Dirty Beer Hole gives you the drunkest group of patriots yet. First of all, these guys think they’re in Paris, as noted by the superimposed Eiffel Tower in the foreground. What’s up with that?

But let’s get to the important part. The Boxer Lager commercials these guys made and posted to YouTube. There are a number of notable Boxer Lager endorsements here. Dirty Beer Hole will do its best to transcribe and/or translate below the video (as a heads up, the best stuff is around the 3 minute mark, feel free to fast forward your way to the quality material):

2:58 – [Boxer Lager thrust into frame, spokes person uses best Strongbad impersonation]: “The Beer of Champions, that’s Boxer! Once again, that’s Boxer Beer.”

This endorsement hits all the necessary high points in effective marketing: (1) celebrity voice-over; (2) short and to the point (6 seconds, max); (3) incorporates slogan; (4) prominent product placement (i.e. in your friggin’ face); and (5) repetition of brand name. A-plus job sir. Your well on your way to being the next Ted Williams, the homeless man with the golden voice.

03:04 – [Boxer floats slowly into frame, female spokes person intervenes]: “Box-aaar! The beer of f*cking chicks that don’t wanna have a f*cking backbone. You drink Boxer and it’ll give ya’ a f*cking backbone. You will NOOOT put up with men’s sh*t any any moaaarrr if you drink Boxer.”

This endorsement, though slightly less efficient than the previous, breaks down some boundaries and speaks to a whole new group of potential Boxer customers – backbone-less chicks. If there’s anything Dirty Beer Hole likes can’t get enough of, its chicks that drink too much Boxer Lager. BUT, Dirty Beer Hole also wants his women to put up with some of his sh*t. So be sure not to grow too much of a backbone, ya’ hear?

03:37 – “OUTTAKE” – Boxer Lager Lady is ready for her close up, and demands to the drunken cameraman, “Can you hold the f*ucking camera straight?” The appropriate answer to her question should have been “No, I can’t hold the f*cking cam-mer-a straight…I’m f*cking 17 Boxer Lagers deep right now.”

More marketing analysis to come on this gem. That’s right lady and gentlemen, this is the first two-part posting in the history of Dirty Beer Hole. How’s that for history in the frickin’ making. Feel free to leave your own commentary and critiques in the comments below. Cheers.

Founder and operations manager of all things Dirty Beer Hole. Don't forget to tip your servers -- just the tip.

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